“No one is for everybody. Anyone who thinks they are or can be is wrong and probably can’t be trusted. “- Me.
We learn how to navigate friendships at young ages and I’ve always operated under the philosophy that I have the power to choose my friends and to not allow my friends to choose me (Cite: my momma). I also have a strong discernment and though I haven’t always had perfect friendships, I believe that I’ve always gotten what I was intended to from each of them. Therefore, I have known most of my life that I am best suited to engage with certain people only and I’ve always been comfortable with that.
As I grow older and am faced with re-negotiating and challenging beliefs I’ve always held I find myself grappling with my desire to continue being picky about the people I allow in my life or to challenge myself to be open to people who don’t radiate vibes that excite me. This isn’t because I have experienced any level of unhappiness with the people I place in my inner circle or longing for those I do not, but rather, other people have an issue with the impermeability of my inner circle and consistently make me feel bad about the ways in which i choose to develop and maintain relationships.
I appreciate the fact that people in my life recognize the privilege that is being there. I appreciate that people recognize there are two versions of me: one who is engaging with you as a friend, family member, whatever and one who is engaging with you as a stranger or frankly, as someone who doesn’t like you. There is a drastic difference in how I treat people I love and those I don’t like or am indifferent to. I don’t necessarily see it as a character flaw. I prefer depth over breadth in all that I do, therefore, I would rather have 1-2 close friends over 100-200 surface relationships. Furthermore, I don’t like small talk so I only engage in conversations that will energize me. (Protecting your energy is imperative). I don’t say things are okay if they aren’t nor does my facial expression. And if I’m just not interested in a person, I don’t interact with them and if I don’t like them I stay away from them.
I’m not for everybody. Everyone isn’t for me. This seems, to me, like a simple concept to understand, but as I’m continuously ridiculed, if you will, about it, I continue to question where the problem truly lies.
Sometimes I wonder why it is that even the most free spirits still possess this expectation for people to behave or do things a certain way. There is no certain way of doing or regarding things. There is only the way that feels right for a person and it can and should differ from person-to-person.
One must simply take people for who they are and decide whether or not they’re someone you want to engage with. We all must recognize that there’s no way to be friends with everybody. or even most people. It’s ridiculous to think otherwise. You are not for everybody and you just have to cherish the people you have been created for and those who accept you. It is okay to protect your energy and to vet who you spend your time with. People who choose not to do that must also accept people who do and allow them to do what makes them comfortable.
Our culture has experienced too much for us to believe that we have to change who we are to fit into any space. Naturally, you will have in your life the people you need and want and there will never be a need to change who you are or how you are to attract them. Know your worth and recognize it’s okay to let people know you know it.
I know that I am not for everybody and I’m okay with that. When will other people be okay with it too?